Choose a Girl

Not only do we get BTS of the store but we also get amazing advice on how to work alongside a partner in business, sex and friendships. I get gifted my first personal vibrator which is super exciting and have a much needed conversation about female pleasure. “You can progress to role-playing in stages that march in key with your comfort and familiarity with your partner and the progressive level of each partner’s arousal,” says Love.

Stay in the Moment

The dirty things you say to your partner should feel natural and flow with the moment. It doesn’t have to be super creative; it just needs to feel good to you and your partner. “Good sex is supposed to be freeing and explorative,” Boodram explains. When it comes to advanced dirty talk, Horn suggests that you, “really see yourself as a storyteller, a creative person exercising a skill.” The vibe of your dirty talk can change to not only fit your specific personality, but also your mood.

How Should it Feel?

• “Mutualistic dirty talk is sexy because it’s a positive bid to connect with your partner.
• Relax a little—talking dirty isn’t an exact science, and navigating it relies more on how comfortable you are versus how much you know about it.
• Give each other full permission to experiment without shame, for the betterment of your relationship.

This is because it gives the other person a heads up on what is enjoyed in a space that is without time pressure and with privacy. “With a mindset of curiosity, simply explore your partner’s thoughts and feelings around dirty talk and then share your own thoughts/feelings,” she says. Role play might make it easier for you to try out dirty talk if it’s something out of your comfort zone. That way you can practice dirty talk phrases and test the waters of how kinky and sexy the two of you can get in the bedroom. To that end, feel free to experiment, but don’t adopt dirty talk phrases that are so far from the norm of how you sound or speak that you feel strange delivering them.

Men Are Visual, Women Are Better at Imagination

• If you’re feeling nervous about saying things out loud, she recommends trying sexting first.
• “Fire for You” by Cannons is playing in the background.
• There’s nothing wrong with a little dirty talk, especially if it’s in the privacy of your bedroom with your partner.
• Figuring out what kind of dirty talk works for you is also a unique and personal journey.
• Part of not sounding ridiculous is using sexy terms for body parts.
• At first, talking dirty can feel awkward, clumsy or even embarrassing.

You don’t need to play any role when hitting the sheets. Be you—just a more amplified, fearless-with-your-words version of yourself. If you’re normally the kind of person who says “darn it,” when you stub your toe, don’t feel pressure to be over-the-top vulgar in bed. “In fact, using a bit of humor and playfulness may be the ideal approach if talking dirty makes you blush or if you’re worried about how your lover will respond,” O’Reilly notes. To dip your toe into dirty talk waters, O’Reilly suggests starting out with what feels normal for you and your partner. After you’ve put yourself out there, gauge how your partner’s physical and verbal reactions are.

A long-distance relationship can mean lots of lonely nights with no company, so we put together 24 ways to initiate dirty talk for a long-distance relationship to build excitement when you’re not together. That said, in these scenarios, communication will be key. After all, using props or experimenting with power dynamics can do wonders for the atmosphere in the bedroom, but, again, it’s vital to make sure everyone is both comfortable and happy at all times. Dirty talk is any form of sexually charged or explicit speech that is intended to arouse and seduce someone. Within research it is also known as “erotic talk” or “sex talk” and it covers all communications that happen exclusively during sex and about sex. It’s explicit and naughty and sexually charged—which, no matter how progressive we’ve become, are things the remnants of our puritanical society have told us to suppress.